Doc was an answer to prayer. There is no better way to put it.
She explained that there was something genetically or hormonally wrong with my body and that is why all of my pregnancies were terminated early on. Yes, there are tests they can run, but with small chances of finding the problem and solution and those tests have to be done while I'm pregnant. So we had a decision to make- how important is it to have children naturally?
As Christ- followers, Hubby and I believe that a child is created at conception and that knowingly cutting that life short is wrong. In order for us to proceed with possible tests and solutions, we would have to become pregnant a 4th time and hope they could find the problem and solution before my body terminates that pregnancy, which is highly unlikely.
After much prayer and debate we decided that it was not worth it for us to lose countless number of our children to have the chance to hold just one of them. And with that, our year of trying had come to an end.
That decision, although painful, healed much of the hurt from the past year. God was gracious in that moment because He gently shut the door. He didn't leave it open with the possibility of children and doubt of what was to come. He knew that knowing that we would possibly be ending our child's life was the one thing that would gracefully end that chapter of our lives.
Little did we know, a new chapter would be beginning.
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