Match Meeting in Heaven

Just two weeks after we were approved to adopt, we found ourselves driving 4 hours up north to meet with our potential birth mom. We felt such peace about meeting her that we knew something incredible would happen, but as we got closer and closer to seeing her our nerves became overwhelming. 

On the drive up we talked about the what if’s and saw little God signs along the way - billboards urging you to adopt or foster and a bumper sticker that we followed quite a way that plainly said “adopt!”.  Both Derek and I felt like we were right where God wanted us to be and we couldn’t wait to see the woman he wanted us to meet!

You feel such overwhelming emotions. Will she like us? Will she think we’re silly or too young to raise a family? What if I say something incredibly stupid? It’s really a moment when those bad thoughts can run away with your heart. We just had to keep reminding ourselves that there was some reason that God wanted us to meet her.

We arrived in the church parking lot where we were to meet, prayed in the car (which caused us to be a little late), and held hands as we walked in to meet with our agent Barb, and our potential birth mom, K.

We sat outside in some chairs talking about nothing at all just to keep our nerves down as we waited for someone to tell us where to go and what to do.  A sweet lady introduced herself as Barb and explained that she had already been meeting with K that day. She asked if we had any questions and told us that she would lead the conversations to help out.  Match meetings usually last about an hour and the agent mediates the conversation because everyone is usually so nervous. At the end Barb told us we would either be told to wait outside or to go on home and she would give us a call on the way to let us know what happened.

She said that K said to not leave her alone in the room for too long because she was so nervous and it gave me such peace to be reminded that we weren’t the only ones in this potential match.

I can’t even explain to you the emotion that I felt when I saw her for the first time. Her strawberry blonde hair, her freckles, her sweet smile. I fell in love. There was an instant connection in my heart before she even opened her mouth. And then she cracked a joke about not being shy and we all laughed and laughed. It was beautiful. She was beautiful.

The next hour and a half was incredibly peaceful. We each shared our stories and marveled at how the dates matched up in our journeys.  She became pregnant in late December; we lost a child in January. She came to Bethany in March; we decided to adopt through Bethany in March and started our paperwork. She met with a birth counselor August 24th four days after our adoption approval.  She was due  September 24^th; my baby shower was scheduled for the 23^rd.

When Barb asked her why she was interested in an adoption plan, K answered that she wanted him to have a father. Someone to love him and teach him to pee standing up!

She said “he”. It’s a BOY!!!!!!!

Barb said that K wanted to tell us the sex of her little one in person during our meeting, but she let it slip! We all started cracking up. K was so upset that she spilled the beans, but it was an adorable moment.

We knew that she had seen our profile and picked us, but we wanted to know why we stood out to her. She said when she first found out she was pregnant months earlier, she had looked at quite a few profiles (we had not been approved yet and weren’t in that stack), but none of them felt right. When she later came back to the agency she was given a new stack of profiles to look through which included ours (only 4 days after we joined the pool of profiles) and we were chosen. Barb told us on the phone that K laughed through our profile and seemed to really connect with us.  K said that she loved the picture of Armand smiling, the words Derek and I wrote about each other, our Christian faith and serving lifestyle, and our gray nursery.  All those hours of work creating that profile seemed so worth it now.

Barb hardly had to mediate our conversations. It was easy to talk with K. We seemed to have so much in common, but what was especially important to us was a similar humor. Derek and I are just plain weird and sometimes people don’t get that. We had prayed and prayed for a mom who would understand that about us, so when she said her favorite movie was Robin Hood: Men In Tights, I just laughed!

There was only one time that I thought we were in trouble. She had one question for us that wasn’t on the cheat sheet- if our son told us that he was going to a friend’s house where there was no drinking and then later called us drunk needing a ride, what would we do.  Derek and I knew immediately what we would do, but how do you tell this potential birth mom that you would beat him if that were your son, knowing it’s her son. I remember taking a big breath and saying, “if that were my son I would go pick him up and then let him have it.” I knew she would kick us out of the room. I held my breath waiting for the boot kick towards the door and she just smiled and said that was exactly what she would have done . We passed!

Naming her little guy was extremely important to her and she asked that if we were matched would we keep his name.  She asked that his name be Zain and we loved it! It was actually one of the names we had on our “boy list”.  K named him Zain for two reasons- one, because it means “God’s gracious gift” and she said no matter who was going to parent him, he was going to be a gift to someone and two, it’s spelled with an “ain” to match his half sister’s name. We loved it!

Another God moment was when she told us how important breast-feeding him was to her and she planned on doing it in the hospital and was hoping to provide milk for him afterwards. We were floored! This was such an important thing for us that I had already lined up milk donors at home.  She is definitely one of a kind to be able to sacrifice her time and heart to do that for him.

An hour and a half passed like a blink of the eye and Barb was bringing us to a close. I can remember being so bummed that it was over because I probably could have talked to her all day if they’d let me. We were asked to leave the room, gave K hugs, and as we were walking out Barb asked us to wait in the lobby. Derek and I looked at each other with hopeful hearts.

As we waited out in the lobby for about 10 minutes trying to dissect everything that had just happened, Barb came back out and asked that we would rejoin K in the room. We sat at the table and K said that she wanted us to be his parents. I just cried and she laughed at me asking if they were happy tears.  We were now officially matched with K and Baby Zain!

Barb explained that at this point our relationship was up to us, so we shared cell phone numbers and planned to text whenever we could in the 2 weeks before her delivery date. We hugged again and as we walked out Derek and I talked about getting some ice cream. K yelled “did someone say ice cream”?   We invited her and E, her 3 year old daughter to grab some ice cream and continue the conversation.

We had such a blast goofing off with K and E! We laughed as strawberry blonde, bright blue eyed, fair skinned E would jump from each of our laps roaring like a lion having a major sugar rush. She played with my hair and gave hugs and kisses to Derek. She was an adorable ball of energy.  While she played around us as we sat outside the ice cream shop I remember having a moment when I looked at K’s belly and saw the lump that was Zain. It was like everything stood still.  Derek and I could possibly be that little lump’s parents.

Our ice cream conversations lasted another 4 hours so it was midnight by the time we made it back home.  The ride home was mostly Derek and I staring at each other and giggling. 

The Bigger Picture

I'm staring at a blank page because I just don't know where to even start. So much has happened in the past 4 weeks that I'm not sure if I can write it out, but I know that this is one of the most important things we can do right now. Write it down so we don't forget. 

The week of our adoption yard sale was a turning point for us. It was supposed to pour, hail, and thunderstorm the night before our sale. Derek got called into mandatory overtime and we had volunteers who just couldn’t make it to help set up. There were only 3 of us girls available to move over 8 truck loads of donated items including large furniture. It was looking like a disaster.  We considered canceling it, but we had so much stuff that we couldn’t store it anywhere and so many people said they were going to attend. I tried calling other locations to move it indoors, but nothing worked. Everything was falling apart.  Friends kept calling us with updated weather conditions telling us we were crazy to move forward with it, but we both felt like God was going to do something incredible and we didn’t want to miss it.  Rain or shine, God was moving.

Two days before our yard sale, I was babysitting a little guy. The reception is horrible out there so my phone never works. I heard it ding like it does when there is a voicemail, so I tried to check it, but couldn’t. I didn’t recognize the number, but it looked like it was out of the area, so I checked it against Bethany’s number and it wasn’t a match. Bummer. About an hour later I heard it ding again like it had service, so I ran to a window for better reception and listened to the voice mail. All I could understand was, “this is (static) from Bethany (static) and we need you to call as soon as you get this message.”

They must need more paper work. They always need more paper work. Maybe we didn’t sign something or filed a form incorrectly. I knew that I wouldn’t get service until I was done babysitting several hours later, so I tried texting Derek to see if he had gotten a call as well. They wouldn’t try calling both of us if they just wanted paperwork. I ran around the house trying to find a single bar of service so I could send it and then I had to stand in the same spot to wait for his reply.

15 minutes later, Derek said they did contact him and he would be calling on his lunch hour. I knew something was up. I could feel it in my gut.  It was excruciating waiting to hear what they wanted and all the while running around the house with my cell phone in the air just trying to get some reception. The little guy I was watching ran around the house with his play phone. I guess he thought it was a game!

An hour later I got the text that there was a birth mom who wanted to meet with us the very next day.  We were told her story and given the opportunity to decide if we wanted to meet with her or not. It was a match meeting call!

Wait, the yard sale. 

We told our agent that we couldn’t meet that next day because Derek had to work and that was the day we were setting up the massive yard sale.  She told us that she would try to work out another meeting time giving us a few days to pray about it. Our meeting was scheduled for the following Tuesday and the yard sale kept us busy during those 4 days. It was so hard to not spill the beans to everyone who asked us for an update during the sale. Derek and I just giggled.

So, all the while that we thought God was going to do something incredible with our yard sale, we had no idea that He was working on bringing our little one home to us. He opened our focus from a fundraiser to the reason we were fundraising. 

Rest

It's been awhile since we've been able to update everyone on our journey. Even though it's been a full week since our yard sale, we're still sore, bruised, and tired. It took a lot out of us and frankly when we came home there was more to do. We organized what we brought home, cleaned our house because we had only been sleeping there (the other times we were picking up donations!), and slept for hours! We wouldn't have changed anything! We're happy and blessed to be tired.

On a happier note, I was able to send of for our four grants and was happy to see them go. They were becoming pretty stressful, so I'm happy they are completed. All we can do now is pray!

We also know that our profile is being looked at and we are praying for our little one and their birth family while we wait. Finding a pediatrician, packing the diaper bag, and informing our employers about our current situation are all on the agenda as we sit here twiddling our thumbs.

Even though we are slightly impatient, we are really enjoying and savoring our down time because we know with one phone call that could change!

Please continue to pray for our birth mom and her family, her confidence in the adoption process and in us, our child, and that when the time comes, we would be able to bring them home.

Yard Sale Wrap Up

Over 10 truck loads of items were donated

It was an incredible sight to see. Over 500 people came to shop through the items donated by over 30 families. The weeks of hard work and prayers paid off with what we considered to be a very successful yard sale! While the financial donations were incredible (thank you!), we loved seeing your smiling faces most of all. Old friends from high school, strangers who saw the event posted on facebook, volunteers from church, and family members all came out to support us. It was overwhelming to hear well wishes every time an item was sold and see our friends and family talking about our adoption journey with shoppers.

Used the nursery to store overflow!

It was a huge event to prepare for and our volunteers couldn't have been better! They helped us load and unload several trucks, set up tables, organize items, and tear it all down in the end. They worked their bottoms off and were paid with bug bites, bruises, sunburns, and sore muscles. When we became overwhelmed, they took control and made it happen. We could never have done something like this by ourselves and would never have wanted to do it with anyone other than them!

God moved in our lives this week. Every donation that we picked up had a story to go with it. Every time I would get online there was a new message with God written all over it. We'd never be able to list all of the incredible moments that came from our yard sale experience, but we did want to share just a few:

K and I working hard on setting things up

- A friend of Derek's came by with his mom and although he didn't find anything to purchase (I guess baby clothes and glassware wasn't his thing), he made a financial donation. But it was what he said that made me fall apart. "I'm just a college student without a job, but I saved up for weeks so that I could make this donation. I was so excited when I found out Derek was going to be a dad and I want to do my part to make sure he has a child."

- A stranger walked up to me and said, "I didn't find anything to buy but wanted to support you anyway", handing me a wad of cash.

-After adding up a large order of items, I told the lady her total and she told me it wasn't enough. She paid double.

First few hours of set up

- I was told of 3 young girls (2 of which were adopted themselves) who had heard about our adoption story and wanted to help out. They sat outside in the rain on a Saturday morning and sold lemonade. They raised $19.96 and were so proud when they handed us the envelope full of change that they had covered in hearts.

- A police man drove up the street and my heart sank. I thought for sure that we were going to get in trouble for having so many cars parked on the street, but he ended up just coming out to support us and shop with his family. He said that the word had been passed around church and he wouldn't miss this opportunity.

Our friend C with his new toy

- The day before the sale, a young man sent me a message saying that this yard sale was all anyone in his area was talking about and that someone had even posted it on the tv screens at IUS.

- There were countless times that a shopper would ask me for prices and when we came to a total it was the exact amount of money they had. They all wanted to know how I did it. I think God was just showing off.

Preparing the yard for the big day!

 The amount we raised put us close to the half way point! God is continuing to open doors as we prepare for our child to come home!

Massive Adoption Yard Sale!

We were so excited when our friends J and K offered us their yard for an adoption yard sale where all proceeds go towards our final payment. There is a lot of work involved, but we can already feel God moving! 

Here are the details:

Saturday, Sept. 8th from 8am to 4pm (set up on Friday)
317 Allison Lane in Jeff

We could use your prayers and help! We need prayers for great weather, a wonderful turn out, and lots of organizational wisdom! We're also looking for volunteers to help us with several things for any amount of time you have.

- Donations! If you think it will sell, we'll take it! We can pick it up anytime or you can drop it off on the Friday that we set up.

- Plastic bags. We'll need lots for people to carry their purchases off in.

- Tables. We already have lots of items, so we're going to need lots of tables to put it on.

-Volunteers to help us set up on Friday and man the yard sale on Saturday.

If you can help out in any way just send us a message and we'll get you the details (and big hugs!). 

Thank you so much!!!

Preparing For Baby

Derek and I have been talking about what we can do to prepare for the little one's arrival. Although we know that it will catch us off guard, we're hoping to have as much prepared ahead of time so we can enjoy the "gotcha" process. We're putting the finishing touches on the nursery and my sweet friend is even planning a baby shower to help us prepare and celebrate (thanks A!).


Things we'd like to find out before Baby comes:

What goes in the diaper bag when you're headed to the hospital? We have no idea if they will be a boy or girl or even what size they will be in, but we know they shouldn't be naked!

What does the hospital provide? Diapers, blankets, pacifiers, formula?

We'd like to get a gift for our tummy mommy, but how do you say thank you to something this huge?

I've always thought about taking our little one to the chiropractor when they are born, but I need more info on that.

How to switch from formula to breast milk. Our little one will be blessed with donated breast milk, but I'm not sure how long that will take to set up.

Feeding/sleeping/play schedule when they finally come home. I've read books, but want to talk to more mammas to feel more comfortable.


What we do know is that Wal-Mart is just a short drive from any hospital in Indiana, so whatever we're missing they will probably have. If not, I'll get to try out my new "mom look".  Also with any adoption everything is situational, so as we get further into the process and get matched, we'll have more of these questions answered.

It's Official

I was cleaning out the kitchen when Derek gave me a big hug from behind and slipped an envelope into my hand. I ripped it open and started sobbing at the first line: "Your family has been approved for adoption planning!"

It finally came! Our official paperwork saying that our home study had been approved and that our profile was being shown to mommas was in my hands. We could finally shout it from the rooftops and boy, did we! Derek was on the upstairs computer and I was on the laptop. We counted down and posted our adoption picture and good news on Facebook at the same time and just stared at the screen while people blessed us with their love and well wishes. It was the moment we had talked about for years and it was finally here. What a special moment it is to share with the world that you're having a baby!

I feel like we're back on the adoption track now. I can't tell you how thrown off I was when that letter just wouldn't come. And sorry to those of you who got texts or calls from me during this time. I know I was a mess. But much, much better now!

Derek and I are having a blast knowing that it could happen at any day, but let's be honest at how scary that can be. It could be while I'm writing this blog entry or next year. We can't wait for baby to come, but hubby and I are just hoping that we can at least have grants completed and most of the funds raised before they get here. I would love to get a sneak peak of God's schedule.

What a beautiful trip!