Everything is His

Since turning in our preliminary app and waiting for our first meeting, I've been considering our next step. If you know me, you know that I hate being unprepared and unorganized. Life goes so much smoother when you've researched the situation and prepared yourself as much as possible. During this short "down time", I believed the next step was to tackle fundraising to get a head start.

So we don't become overwhelmed, Derek and I have decided to take it one financial goal at a time and our next one is $8,000 for our home study process. This includes everything from the background checks, CPS, fingerprinting, legal fees, home study, and everything else needed to say that we would provide a safe and healthy environment for our child. For some reason they don't accept your word. :o)

As we've thought and prayed over this goal, we always knew two things- we can't do it on our own and if God has kicked open doors so far, He won't leave us hanging now!

Fundraising is hard work. It takes creativity and sacrifice, but with every item sold or hour worked, I feel closer to our child. I'm starting to understand the sacrificial love a mother has. I look at things with a new filter- is it more important for me to keep this or hold my baby? And I guess holding our little tater tot has become so important to us that we have sold 1/3 of our possessions to raise funds.  Poor Derek is pretty worried because if it's not living then it's up for grabs.  And if someone would be willing to pay for a cat or two, I would gladly accept!

While we've been hard at work (me selling and Derek locking his precious things away), so has God. We received a call today from our tax preparer telling us that our taxes have been amended and we can expect $4000 back. Yes, you just read that...want to read it again? We're expecting $4000 back! How's that for God moving mountains?!?! That's HALF of our goal!

Oye! And if that wasn't enough we just found out that Derek got a raise.

This stuff makes me want to cuss in a "you can't put my God in a box" kind of way.



*I also have a fish who's a great listener if you're interested!

Process Update

Our preliminary application has been received and we are set to attend an orientation meeting on the 15th!  We will call on the 16th and let them know if we are going to proceed or not and if we are, they will send us the formal paperwork to get started. Let the countdown begin!

Prayer

At this point in the process I'm not even sure what to pray about. It's been such a whirlwind with paper work, telling family and friends, and preparing the house that my mind hasn't stopped (poor Derek). I keep getting this nudge to hurry. I know that we can't change God's timing, but I also know that when He tells us to move, He means business!

Would you please join us in prayer about these things?
Pray for:
Our hearts to be prepared as we learn about becoming first time parents
Discernment on financial support- what is the best way to handle the cost
Our little one to be happy and healthy
The birth family in making this beautiful and hard decision
God to be the director of this entire process

And 40 million other requests, but for now that will have to do :o)

Something To Smile About :o)

Allowing Myself To Look

Today before and after church, I did something that I've never done before- went to the baby section of the store. You know, the scary pink and blue section where children scream and parents never come out of. I know it seems like a small feat, but for me it's always been weird. I always felt out of place, like other moms could use their spider senses and just know that I didn't belong. But, now that we have the hope of having children again, I'm easing into those aisles. Here are a few things I've learned so far:

1. Walmart doesn't believe in dads. All of their stuff says "Mommy's little angel", "Mommy's cupcake", and "Mommy's princess", but what about "My dad's a rockstar" or "My daddy can beat up your daddy with just one of his 42 Nerf guns in the upstairs closet"? Maybe that was too specific.

2. I have a hard time laying down serious cash for something my child is only going to drool, poop, and throw up on. I'm thinking that we'll just cover everything in plastic wrap and be done with it.

And lastly...

3. Tater Tot doesn't need stuff. They need food, a roof over their head, and to know that God (and their new family) loves them unconditionally.

In the several hours (and several phone calls to friends asking "what the heck is this thing?") I did get one baby item, a bouncer. I kept finding myself looking at it in the rearview mirror while I drove home and just smiling. I can't believe that we're at this point. I can't believe that I had a reason to go to the baby section and I can't believe the love that I already have for our little one. And incredibly, this must be just a small fraction of how much God loves us.