Sunday, May 20, 2012
What A Day!
Derek and I had a wonderful time yesterday. We attended an informational meeting up in Indy on the topic of incorporating birth moms into your family. We were blessed to listen to a young lady who had been adopted through Bethany and had also placed a child with them. She had an incredible perspective on what children need in an open adoption and what birth moms need as well. Derek and I have some great ideas about how we can bless our birth mom and make our little one's "tummy mommy" feel special!
We've also been talking a lot about our family profile (this is the book that birth moms will look through to learn more about us). Most often, these books are just 10-12 pages of text and pics of the adoptive family bound in a book. If you know Derek and I, you know that we're, um....different. After discussing what makes us special, we've decided that our humor and creativity is what sets us apart. We're hoping to incorporate that into our family profile. We've discussed pop up details, handwritten sections, polaroids, pressed flowers, "real" photos....anything that will be true to who we are and set us apart.
We were also able to enjoy some down time with good friends. They always bless our lives and today we were so blessed with a sweet card and donation. The only thing I can do in these moments is cry. I know it's not pretty, but when you see someone love your child before they've even met them, what else is there to do? :o)
Today we're off to church (yay!) and then to try and sell some action figures.
Tator Tot,
When you read this, know that your daddy loved you so much that he carried 4 LARGE totes of his special action figures across a bridge to a store where boys poked and drooled all over them, just to make sure you could come home to us. You're that special.
Love,
Mom (Daddy will sign later....when the tears have dried up)
Yeah, we're different.
We've also been talking a lot about our family profile (this is the book that birth moms will look through to learn more about us). Most often, these books are just 10-12 pages of text and pics of the adoptive family bound in a book. If you know Derek and I, you know that we're, um....different. After discussing what makes us special, we've decided that our humor and creativity is what sets us apart. We're hoping to incorporate that into our family profile. We've discussed pop up details, handwritten sections, polaroids, pressed flowers, "real" photos....anything that will be true to who we are and set us apart.
We were also able to enjoy some down time with good friends. They always bless our lives and today we were so blessed with a sweet card and donation. The only thing I can do in these moments is cry. I know it's not pretty, but when you see someone love your child before they've even met them, what else is there to do? :o)
Today we're off to church (yay!) and then to try and sell some action figures.
Tator Tot,
When you read this, know that your daddy loved you so much that he carried 4 LARGE totes of his special action figures across a bridge to a store where boys poked and drooled all over them, just to make sure you could come home to us. You're that special.
Love,
Mom (Daddy will sign later....when the tears have dried up)
Yeah, we're different.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Process Update
Tuesday evening was our informational meeting, where you sit in a room with about 15 other couples who looked scared out of their gourds, lol. The agency tells you basic information about their organization, the process for domestic and international adoption, and gives you the chance to ask questions. It was a great time for Derek and I to chat on the 2 hour trip up to Indy and we were blessed by the meeting.
On the trip home we decided to continue forward with our domestic adoption through Bethany-Indianapolis. We were impressed with their organization through the process and their honesty and values. Their first priority is showing Christ's love to the women who come to them during a possible crisis pregnancy. And then if women make the selfless decision to relinquish their child, Bethany will walk them through the adoption process providing love and counseling all along the way (and after). We only want whats best for these little ones, so if that means the mommy chooses to parent, we want to work with an organization that will help them do just that! Bethany will take care of these special women whatever they choose.
Wednesday morning I called Bethany and told them we would like to move forward with the process and they sent me the formal application. It asks for family information, work info, debt/income, insurance information, references, and some other documentation. All in all it was a brain workout, but I was able to send it off that afternoon, only because I had most of that information already prepared. When I dropped it off at the post office, I tried to hold back the tears and refrained from telling the post office worker not to throw the envelope around. Man, you can get attached to those papers!
We sent them overnight with a confirmation code and they should have received them by Thursday at noon. I checked on them several times (yes, I'm a package stalker) and it looks like they were well on their way. I'll be calling today (Friday) just to make sure they received it.
Tomorrow is our first information meeting. Two of these are required before your home study can be completed and are free for Bethany families (which we will be as soon as they approve our formal app). These meetings are held once a month, usually in Indy, and cover all kinds of topics- transracial adoption (adopting a child that is not the same race as you), special needs adoptions, and other neat things. Ours is about the role of birth families in our adoption and I'm excited to see what we can do to incorporate our little one's birth family into our family. You see, when you adopt a child, you get the blessing of their family as well! Your new family is growing by leaps and bounds and God loves that!
Sometime soon we will find out who our adoption specialist/social worker will be. They will be the one who helps us prepare for and conducts our home study and we are so excited to meet them! Once our formal app gets approved, we'll be ready to move into the home study process. This is the part where we get physicals/drug tests/tb tests, background checks, some legal paperwork, references from friends and our employers, and interviews about our marriage and past. I guess you could say this is the part of the "pregnancy" where the doctor pokes and prods around, but instead of it being my body, they're poking around our house and personal lives. Is it uncomfortable? Sure, but if every set of parents had to do this, wouldn't the world be a different place :o)
While we're waiting, we're spending our time researching and would love for you to join us! Check out these websites while we wait:
www.Bethany.org (our agency)
www.showhope.org (Steven Curtis Chapman's orphan care website- he also used Bethany for his adoption!)
www.adoption.com (covers all kinds of adoptions/foster care/crisis pregnancy issues)
These are just a few sites that I feel like I've memorized :o) But please know, if you have any questions, we'd love to try and answer them for you!
On the trip home we decided to continue forward with our domestic adoption through Bethany-Indianapolis. We were impressed with their organization through the process and their honesty and values. Their first priority is showing Christ's love to the women who come to them during a possible crisis pregnancy. And then if women make the selfless decision to relinquish their child, Bethany will walk them through the adoption process providing love and counseling all along the way (and after). We only want whats best for these little ones, so if that means the mommy chooses to parent, we want to work with an organization that will help them do just that! Bethany will take care of these special women whatever they choose.
Wednesday morning I called Bethany and told them we would like to move forward with the process and they sent me the formal application. It asks for family information, work info, debt/income, insurance information, references, and some other documentation. All in all it was a brain workout, but I was able to send it off that afternoon, only because I had most of that information already prepared. When I dropped it off at the post office, I tried to hold back the tears and refrained from telling the post office worker not to throw the envelope around. Man, you can get attached to those papers!
We sent them overnight with a confirmation code and they should have received them by Thursday at noon. I checked on them several times (yes, I'm a package stalker) and it looks like they were well on their way. I'll be calling today (Friday) just to make sure they received it.
Tomorrow is our first information meeting. Two of these are required before your home study can be completed and are free for Bethany families (which we will be as soon as they approve our formal app). These meetings are held once a month, usually in Indy, and cover all kinds of topics- transracial adoption (adopting a child that is not the same race as you), special needs adoptions, and other neat things. Ours is about the role of birth families in our adoption and I'm excited to see what we can do to incorporate our little one's birth family into our family. You see, when you adopt a child, you get the blessing of their family as well! Your new family is growing by leaps and bounds and God loves that!
Sometime soon we will find out who our adoption specialist/social worker will be. They will be the one who helps us prepare for and conducts our home study and we are so excited to meet them! Once our formal app gets approved, we'll be ready to move into the home study process. This is the part where we get physicals/drug tests/tb tests, background checks, some legal paperwork, references from friends and our employers, and interviews about our marriage and past. I guess you could say this is the part of the "pregnancy" where the doctor pokes and prods around, but instead of it being my body, they're poking around our house and personal lives. Is it uncomfortable? Sure, but if every set of parents had to do this, wouldn't the world be a different place :o)
While we're waiting, we're spending our time researching and would love for you to join us! Check out these websites while we wait:
www.Bethany.org (our agency)
www.showhope.org (Steven Curtis Chapman's orphan care website- he also used Bethany for his adoption!)
www.adoption.com (covers all kinds of adoptions/foster care/crisis pregnancy issues)
These are just a few sites that I feel like I've memorized :o) But please know, if you have any questions, we'd love to try and answer them for you!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
My Morning
This is what I've been doing all morning.....
And this is what the kitties have been doing all morning.....
And I wouldn't have it any other way :o)
And this is what the kitties have been doing all morning.....
And I wouldn't have it any other way :o)
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Shoulda' Known
These past few days have been pretty rough for me (not to mention Derek who had to put up with me!). It came out of no where last week when I started having serious doubts about if I was ready to adopt. It was weird, the feelings just grew and grew until they stole away my excitement. It didn't get any better when I researched how long our wait time could be. These "bad days" culminated on Mother's Day. It was a rough one. I missed my kiddos and felt like I'd never be blessed as a mom. I spent the day sobbing on the couch and texting my closest friend for support. Did I mention I was pretty hormonal?!? Sheesh...
Monday morning, I get a call from a friend who tells me she doesn't need me anymore for a side job that was going to be a big chunk of our adoption fund. When I ask why, she can't give a reason. And then as I get in my car to head to my favorite babysitting job, the car won't start....at all...nothing...
So as I'm waiting for Super Derek to come pick me up (I'm stranded in front of the recycling bins at the recycling center) I call my friend a.g.a.i.n. and she gave me the best wisdom, probably without even knowing it. Our conversation went like this:
Crissy: Hey friend! (I don't really call her friend, but the names have been changed to protect the innocent) Guess what. My car is dead.
Friend: Do you need a ride? (She's that sweet!)
Crissy: No, Derek is coming to pick me up. Thanks though!
Friend: Man, he is really attacking you.
Crissy: Huh? Who is attacking me?
Friend: Satan is.
DING! DING! DING!
Holy nibblets! I had been so naive. You see, adoption is incredible, it's marvelous, it's stupendous, and it glorifies God. And as supportive as everyone has been, there is one hiding in the background who is ticked. He's furious with Derek and I that we've chosen to follow God's calling on our life and his favorite weapon is to play with your head.
He has been putting doubt in my heart and fear in my head that grew and grew. He's been putting things in my path that destroy my attitude. And as soon as my friend said he was involved, it all made sense. Man, he had a field day with me the past week. I bet he thought he won, but he was so wrong. You see, I know his game.
When you're being attacked by Satan, pat yourself on the back. You're moving in the right direction :o)
Monday morning, I get a call from a friend who tells me she doesn't need me anymore for a side job that was going to be a big chunk of our adoption fund. When I ask why, she can't give a reason. And then as I get in my car to head to my favorite babysitting job, the car won't start....at all...nothing...
So as I'm waiting for Super Derek to come pick me up (I'm stranded in front of the recycling bins at the recycling center) I call my friend a.g.a.i.n. and she gave me the best wisdom, probably without even knowing it. Our conversation went like this:
Crissy: Hey friend! (I don't really call her friend, but the names have been changed to protect the innocent) Guess what. My car is dead.
Friend: Do you need a ride? (She's that sweet!)
Crissy: No, Derek is coming to pick me up. Thanks though!
Friend: Man, he is really attacking you.
Crissy: Huh? Who is attacking me?
Friend: Satan is.
DING! DING! DING!
Holy nibblets! I had been so naive. You see, adoption is incredible, it's marvelous, it's stupendous, and it glorifies God. And as supportive as everyone has been, there is one hiding in the background who is ticked. He's furious with Derek and I that we've chosen to follow God's calling on our life and his favorite weapon is to play with your head.
He has been putting doubt in my heart and fear in my head that grew and grew. He's been putting things in my path that destroy my attitude. And as soon as my friend said he was involved, it all made sense. Man, he had a field day with me the past week. I bet he thought he won, but he was so wrong. You see, I know his game.
When you're being attacked by Satan, pat yourself on the back. You're moving in the right direction :o)
Sunday, May 13, 2012
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