Shoulda' Known

These past few days have been pretty rough for me (not to mention Derek who had to put up with me!).  It came out of no where last week when I started having serious doubts about if I was ready to adopt. It was weird, the feelings just grew and grew until they stole away my excitement. It didn't get any better when I researched how long our wait time could be. These "bad days" culminated on Mother's Day. It was a rough one. I missed my kiddos and felt like I'd never be blessed as a mom. I spent the day sobbing on the couch and texting my closest friend for support. Did I mention I was pretty hormonal?!? Sheesh...

Monday morning, I get a call from a friend who tells me she doesn't need me anymore for a side job that was going to be a big chunk of our adoption fund. When I ask why, she can't give a reason. And then as I get in my car to head to my favorite babysitting job, the car won't start....at all...nothing...

So as I'm waiting for Super Derek to come pick me up (I'm stranded in front of the recycling bins at the recycling center) I call my friend a.g.a.i.n. and she gave me the best wisdom, probably without even knowing it. Our conversation went like this:

Crissy: Hey friend! (I don't really call her friend, but the names have been changed to protect the innocent) Guess what. My car is dead.

Friend: Do you need a ride? (She's that sweet!)

Crissy: No, Derek is coming to pick me up. Thanks though!

Friend: Man, he is really attacking you.

Crissy: Huh? Who is attacking me?

Friend: Satan is.



DING! DING! DING!

Holy nibblets! I had been so naive. You see, adoption is incredible, it's marvelous, it's stupendous, and it glorifies God. And as supportive as everyone has been, there is one hiding in the background who is ticked. He's furious with Derek and I that we've chosen to follow God's calling on our life and his favorite weapon is to play with your head.

He has been putting doubt in my heart and fear in my head that grew and grew. He's been putting things in my path that destroy my attitude. And as soon as my friend said he was involved, it all made sense. Man, he had a field day with me the past week. I bet he thought he won, but he was so wrong. You see, I know his game.

When you're being attacked by Satan, pat yourself on the back. You're moving in the right direction :o)