The two weeks before his birth were an exciting and trying
time for me. Each day brought us
closer to seeing her again and meeting Zain, but each day my heart felt heavy
with worry. A match does not mean a placement and she has every right to change
her mind at any time. The phone
would ring and my heart would jump thinking it was her changing her mind. We
prayed for protected hearts and tried to focus on our relationship with her,
knowing that God had brought us together with her for a reason. Even if that
meant us leaving the hospital with an empty car seat.
Our friendship grew through several texts a day and it
literally felt like part of my heart had been left behind with her. There were
several times she went to the hospital with high blood pressure, contractions,
and even once when she fell and each time I had to talk myself out of driving
the 4 hours to check on her. It
definitely puts you in a weird position. It’s almost unexplainable. You’ve been
matched with a complete stranger who says they want you to raise their child
and you’ve got two weeks to get to know them as quickly as possible all the
while hoping she doesn’t have a change of heart. It’s like walking a balance
beam; all we could do was pray and hoped we didn’t lean too far.
Our parents and close friends became our prayer warriors for
us. Their prayers kept us from jumping
off the edge when it became too much and they helped us celebrate the thought
of having a son.
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